MARC CARMONT (V.O.): Consumer, you've opted out of the traditional ad experience in favor of participating in our pilot all-at-once program! Good morning, this is Marc Carmont and here is your daily Advermations. Car trouble? China Town Muffler and Tire is finally reopened and ready for your vehicle. Try Subway's New ChitterSnack Sandwich. Visit Cliff's Amusement Park's New Lincoln's Freedom Ride. Agatha Christie's New Thriller — Cradle Born, spine-tingling baby terror in a book. Edible Cream Sticks by Baigley's. Corn in the Cob. Hell's final tour. Hot Spanish Waxing's by Deb — call Deborah at 410-310-986. The Department of Homeland Defense is still watching. The Modern Art Museum of Phoenix is proud to unveil our new Morocona Bowl exhibit. The Friendly people at Jemez Toyota. The Shania Twain Experience is now selling tickets for its first aquatic show on Lake Mead — find out more at WetShania.com... PDF Changs — download and print at home. Get in your car and head on down to Pigeon Meadows Future Renaissance Faire to experience the only Futuristic Medieval Festival in eastern Moldova. Punkbelts — a clash of metal and leather! Old Chug's cringey comedy is headlining the Berlin Comedy Festival in March — buy tickets or reserve a front row mat for your family. Your mat will get wet. Spizvault fingerprint-erasing services now available in US Virgin Islands. Love your cat? Try Cat Mist sedating catnip vape mask @ catvape.com. It's cold sore season! Wild orange and creamy berry flavored Carmex now at CoCon Gas Stations and Turbo Stores. Two Tubbies for only $9.95. Love your mother? Prove it at Wild Clemenberries — bring any mother and get 16 shrimp appetizers absolutely free. This has been your daily Advermation. I'm Mark Carmont, welcoming you to the rest of your ad-free day. Brought to you by AdMilf, a subsidiary of Subsquiduince.

MARTIN'S GARAGE SALE — This Saturday and Sunday from 7am to 3pm, or until Martin gets bored or tired, or possibly longer if Janine can take over for a while. Located at Kent and Washington, across the street from Pinkberry. Martin's absolutely lost his fucking mind and is getting rid of EVERYTHING he doesn't want or need, for prices that will have you saying Garage Damn. Mother of pearl cabinet handles. Bridal sets. Talavera tile. A bridal for a horse. A brown Schwinn bicycle. Brass cabinet handles. Adapters! Adapters! Adapters! Adapters! 70 books, many of which Martin has never even finished reading. Magazines. PC speakers. Brown paint. The vacuum that was too heavy for Janine. Disc 2 and 3 out of 5 of Friends Season 4. A complete Packard Bell Desktop Computer and Printer. Hats. Old shirts. Cable Sacks. Long buckets. 25 vinyl records. Several unused Cosmins. 4 cameras — 2 working! Find a Halloween costume for a sibling or a gag gift for a friend! The lemon tree is in season — have free lemons. See our exclusive "one off" bin filled with missing socks, orphaned gloves, and incomplete puzzles. All this and more at Martin's Garage Sale. DO NOT PARK AT PINKBERRY.

We here at 1 Hat understand our clients. Humans have one head. One head that lasts them their entire life. So in the spirit of a head for life, 1 Hat presents The Lifer. One hat to last you a lifetime. Made from everlasting buffalo hide. The Lifer grows with your head — every time it gets wet it reshapes itself a little bigger, gets a little tougher, and develops a little character with every wrinkle and crinkle. The Lifer is only $300. About one-tenth of what the average American spends on hats in a lifetime. One hat. One time. One life.

Today's One Two Review is brought to you by The Beach Boys Live Interactive Experience. Ride a surfboard. Eat a coconut. Even compose an original jam. You'll hang out for an entire afternoon with the boys on a private beach on the California coast. Each person's experience will differ — and you'll walk away with your own unique Beach Boys song. 1-347-699-****

USKIES — Used and reclaimed keys and key fobs from all types of cars, by the pound. What you do with them is your business. Get strange and unidentified car keys in every shipment! Ever see the key for a 1986 Daihatsu DRX440 Wagon? Well, it's really weird. USKIES is great for artists, jewelers, and car enthusiasts of all ages! Every order of USKIES car keys comes with 2 whole pounds of 1982–2019 car keys from all makes and models. USKIES is not responsible for any damaged or stolen cars and property, and recommends that USKIES customers don't use the contents of their package on any cars but their own. Use Promo Code REVIEW today and get a free half-pound of house keys.

Debut Album: It Could Only Be This Way — Four Horsemen Records, 2014 Press: Pitchfork Best New Music — "Obelisk" (2013) ──────────────────────────────────── Shapeshifting Production alongside Justin William Lin and Lindsay Mound 422k+ Spotify streams · 88k YouTube views Video directed by Crystal Moselle (The Wolfpack, Skate Kitchen)

Production alongside Absofacto and Kosuke Kaza